The Republic of Proscole Unicyrstaev is a colossal, safe nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, hatred of cheese, and stringent health and safety legislation. The democratic population of 9.865 billion Proscole Unicyrstaevians enjoy great social freedoms and frequent elections, where the majority of the populace regularly votes to increase its benefits at the expense of various hapless minorities.

The medium-sized, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 29.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Proscole Unicyrstaevian economy, worth 216 trillion pounds a year, is led by the Basket Weaving industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Gambling, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 21,901 pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Happiness is all being miserable together, a PhD just ain't what it used to be, parents who reward their teens' chores with concert tickets are charged with illegal reselling, and politicians who vacation in East Lebatuck lose their jobs upon their return. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Proscole Unicyrstaev's national animal is the tiger, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Proscole Unicyrstaev is ranked 123,229^th in the world and 4,894^th in Lazarus for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 50 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.